I have worked individually with a number of clients who reached out to me in crisis; their lives had been upturned by romantic partners once claiming to be committed to a lifetime together. This sudden abandonment can feel like a gut kick, rendering you weak, confused & entirely without closure. This is by design, intending to keep you off kilter while they make an escape, grabbing everything they can carry as they flee the scene of the crime.
Lost and alone, you find yourself amid the tattered remains of your life. Daily functions such as eating, working and sleeping become massive efforts. You feel drained, your body aching from the physiological responses to this pain. But things CAN get better.
My clients have come to understand that they were targeted by predators who needed their demands met. They accept that their ex was not simply a ‘bad person’ who no longer loved them, but in fact a fraud who used love to bait the hook. Understanding the pathology of narcissists and sociopaths, they’re able to see the patterns of behavior that are replicated from one to the other. This understanding helps them to depersonalize those malignant efforts. In other words, try not to take it personally; they do the same thing to each of their targets.
But of course, you will take it personally, because your relationship felt intensely intimate. Unwinding the alternative reality created by the narcissist takes time and effort on your part. In doing so, you will be rewarded with a clarity that brings you out of the darkness and into the light. Don’t languish in the pain and confusion for longer than you have to. Reach out to me for one on one life coaching dedicated to recovery from narcissistic abuse.