This article, penned by a guest writer, breaks down the narcopath’s Script, and details part one of four: Throwing Out the Line.
Throwing Out The Line
Dating is challenging whether you meet through friends, on-line match sites or at church. One of the most disturbing things about a narcopath is the charming ease with which he/she will slide into your life. Narcopaths are excellent researchers and will prepare themselves to shapeshift into your perfect mate without you ever suspecting anything.
The first thing you need to know is this: the narcopath is leaving someone through discard, either now or sometime in the future once you are hooked. (Hooked is the next section of The Script). The narcopath may tell you about this relationship to invoke sympathy or they could be completely silent about being in a relationship at all. Narcopaths are always in situ in a relationship, always. They may be in several relationships at a time, unbeknownst to the others or they may be pole vaulting from one to the next; but, they are always throwing out the line for a better deal. One of the most disturbing things about a narcopath on the hunt is they will find out what you want in a relationship and shapeshift to become your perfect match.
A narcopath is an excellent listener and will mold themselves into what you impart as a need or wish. In the beginning, this person will astound you at how completely perfect their actions match your needs. The following actions and phrases are used by a narcopath during the ‘throwing out the line’ stage:
- I have never felt like this before with anyone.
- We have so much in common.
- You are the most beautiful man/woman I have ever seen.
- Can you do anything wrong?
- Don’t worry about ________________, I will take care of it.
- My last relationship was so hard because he/she was crazy.
- Your eyes reflect your beautiful soul.
- I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you.
- All I want is to make you happy.
- As long as you are with me, I don’t care where we go.
- I sent you ___________, because I just wanted you to remember me when you aren’t with me.
- I love your children, cat, dog, house, apartment, car, etc.
- You are my good luck charm, since I met you everything is falling in to place for me.
- I am so glad you participate in _____________, so do I. It is my favorite thing to do.
- I was always missing something until I met you.
- You make me feel so special, young, perfect, handsome, pretty.
- I have prayed for you every day of my life.
- I always knew I had a twin-flame, soulmate out in the world and now I’ve found her/him.
The above phrases are all designed to persuade you to form a relationship quickly with a predator. A quickly formed relationship fulfills the need to find new supply. We use the term “supply,” because a new relationship high is so desirable to a narcopath. They feed off the energy of a human being who can form and cultivate sustained relationships. Narcopaths are unable to have feelings of their own and therefore, the closest they come to having real feelings is through you, the victim or “supply”.
Narcopaths do not ever attract one another. A narcopath can not charm another narcopath. The emptiness they harbor inside can not be filled with a person who does not offer what they need. Unarmed with knowledge, new supply can be swept off their feet by the attention, the immediate attraction, the simple perfection of a newcomer to your life. Unfortunately, the narcopath has come to the table with ulterior motives. This person has researched you, carefully listened to you and is actively trying to pull you into their void. Using your personality, they have morphed into a version of you. Mirroring your qualities makes you feel very comfortable, dropping your guard as you start this unhealthy dance with a predator.
If you recognize your new relationship in any of the above or feel rushed to be a couple, please tread carefully. Google this person, ask to meet friends, ask questions about former relationships, review the answers as you would when forming a new friendship. Once ensnared by a narcopath, it is painful and you will be discarded without thought to your welfare. We will discuss how a narcopath sets the Hook in the next installment.
My goal writing “The Script” is to bring awareness that a certain subset of our population is dangerous to our mental and physical well being. These relationships always end and they end badly. Please refer to “The Discard” previously published on this blog.