If you are a survivor of psychological abuse, you’ve likely heard the term “no contact,” and there is good reason for this. No Contact is the single most effective tool to recover from a relationship with a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath. If you have children together, you must work to reduce contact to an absolute minimum (see MODIFIED CONTACT in Resources). Initially, you will resist this because you still crave the attention & affirmations of the narcissist, but you must decide to save yourself.
To begin the healing process, you must create space between you & your abuser, as well as their pack of sycophantic followers. Defending yourself against their smear campaign or exposing the narcissist for their abuse will fall on deaf ears. Make your circle of friends & family as small as necessary in order to only be surrounded by loyal & supportive people. Removing this toxicity will unburden you almost immediately, and you will begin to breathe cleaner air.
Rules of No Contact include:
- No texting, phone calls or email
- No meeting in person for any reason
- No social media contact
- No cyberstalking
- No information through third parties
- No drive-bys or physical stalking
- No contact with anyone who shares information about you to the abuser. I would go so far as to suspend relationships with anyone who stays in contact with the abuser in person or on social media.
No Contact will not always be easy but you must go cold turkey & break the addiction. Blocking the narcissist on your phone will prevent the temptation of replying to their messages, and I strongly recommend this. There will be weak moments when you will long to reach out- DON’T DO IT! Instead, go for a walk, call a friend, schedule a root canal, just anything to keep your “addiction” in check.
It is also possible that the narcissist will reach out to you to draw you back in with promises that they’ve changed or they miss you. They may call to incite an argument or otherwise terrorize you. In either scenario, the narcissist will derive pleasure from the contact. If you are struggling with No Contact & need additional assistance, please contact me.